The good, the bad and the easy

Someone does good.  Another person participates in actions that frees thousands of people from bondage.  A family lives a generally decent and moral life, sacrificing their family time, their home and their livelihood to get another family off the street.  Then someone criticizes me and/or my family and suddenly I’m the victim.  All the other good is out the door and I start pointing my finger, accusing everyone I see of exhibiting the very behavior for which I was criticized.  It’s always someone else’s fault!  In the blink of an eye, we’ve moved from success to failure.  Successes I’ll gladly accept, but the failures are not of my doing.

The story sound familiar?  I know I’ve used it a couple times, and in several different contexts.  Here’s the problem, when the s**t hits the fan, the good stuff is ignored, the bad stuff isn’t my fault and the easiest thing to do is point the finger at someone else.  Isn’t that true?  I mean, take a minute to assess all the cracks in your life that are bound by this paradigm.

Here’s the problem I see.  I would consider myself a moderate to regularly religious person.  It’s much easier for me to point my figure at every other person, group or institution other than myself.  In doing so, I alienate myself from far too many people than is probably good for my soul.  When I’m isolated, I tend to be unusually weak in all facets of life.  And for some odd reason, my initial reaction is to then assume that the external forces in my life are solely responsible for my circumstances.

Essentially, I’m allowing my own perceptions to dictate the world around me.  Most of the time I’m blinded by my own self induced isolation that I can’t get a good view of my surroundings through my own self deprecation.  And as you can imagine, the vicious cycles continues.

So, what am I getting at?  Honestly, I’m not entirely sure.  Most of my energies should probably be spent searching for and highlighting the good in the world.  And for us religious folk, that most assuredly means exploring for and discovering the good the does exist outside of our own walls, traditions and denominations.  I would even venture to say it would probably be beneficial to look for the good everywhere.  Further, I argue that when humanity bands together, seeking and striving toward good, we are all participating in the work of God.  It doesn’t really matter from what direction you are approaching, all that matters is that we journey together.

What that likely doesn’t mean is that we abandon ship only to jump onto another.  What good does that do us?  If we are all headed in the same direction (no, I will not say what the destination is, because I’m not convinced there is one), how much more fulfilling is life when we travel in companionship?  How much less painful is it when there are people to pick us up when we fall, guide our paths and walk with us?

So, the moral of this horribly fragmented story is that we must learn to travel well.  We must gladly accept aid as well as seek it out when the situation dictates.  Let us not take the easy road, lobbing verbal grenades at every turn, rather may we choose to follow good, with whoever is willing to journey with us.  My we refuse the temptation to convince everyone around me that I know the best route, or my way is in some way superior to yours.  May we make a conscious decision to wrecklessly love, journeying in relationship and seeking Good for all.

Listen…

You know, I can’t even remember the last time I sat down to write anything here.  I think that’s partially due to the fact that I haven’t been overly angry about a whole lot over the past several months.  Now, that’s not to say that I’ve avoided dissent altogether, or that I only write when I’m angry, because neither is the case.  That being said, I will say that this has often been a place of release, likely because of nature of blogging in the first place.  It’s here that I have the illusion that someone is listening because I can say whatever it is I need to say with little to no judgement.  And so somehow, I feel a little bit better and a little less mad at the world.

But today, I thought I’d get right back on track and offer a few thoughts about the state of the world we are living in and how much it chaps my hide.  Specifically, there are a couple things on my mind that I wanted to share, and then, in an effort to be a bit more disciplined, especially in writing, I’ll be back next week to continue the conversation.

Have you ever felt like no one knows how to listen anymore?  And not just the kind of listening that is quiet until I finish my thought and then you say whatever it was you were planning to say, but truly listening, conversing.  As far as I can tell, there are very few people in my life that are good listeners.  That’s not to say I’ve got it down either, but selfishly, I would rather blame someone else at the moment.  I’ve recently come to realize that I am not at all a good listener, though I’m more of a quiet, gentle natured person.

And isn’t it true that it’s easier for us to poke holes in other peoples character to match the holes we have, rather than taking responsibilities for our own flaws?  At this point in my life, I do not need someone to tell me what to believe, or how to live.  I’m not interested in being manipulated.  I just want someone to listen, in the fullest, most deeply relational sorts of ways.  My wife and I have had an ongoing conversation that one of the things that we most desperately need is for a community of people to love us just as we are, without condition, ever.

Thus, I can in some minor ways relate to the oppressed group of people that Derek Webb talks about in one of his more powerful songs.  The song title is What Matters More, and its highly likely that I’ve referenced it before.  Derek speaks a powerful critique against the religious behavior that isolates the gay community as perceived outcast, dysfunctional members of society.  It is because of that overtly judgmental attitude and demeanor that I have of late, had great difficulty associating myself with any sort of organized religious order.  Lately, I’ve shared the same sentiments as Anne Rice, but I’ll save that for another post.

Needless to say, Derek Webb’s prophetic voice speaks specifically to the anti-gay segment of evangelical christianity, yet I’ll include the lyrics on this post because I believe it also speaks to the notion that we’ve got everything figured out, who’s right and who’s wrong, and we refuse to sit down and truly listen to and engage in conversation/relationship with those people to who we most disagree.  And specifically, I’m speaking to evangelicals and the hair brained notion that Jesus came for us to work tirelessly to convince everyone around us to think like me.

It is within that process of thinking that I cannot, and will not associate myself with that group of people.  I do not know all the answers, nor do I presume to.  It is also not my ultimate calling to convince everyone around me to think exactly as I do, refusing to listen and learn in real and powerful ways from those around me.

So, I conclude this lengthy (sorry) post with the lyrics to What Matters More and I ask that you consider with me what kind of person these words challenge us to be, religious or not.

You say always treat people like you’d like to be
I guess you love being hated for your sexuality
You love when people put words in your mouth
About what you believe
Make you sound like a freak

‘Cause if you really believed
What you say you believe
You wouldn’t be so damned reckless
With the words you speak
You wouldn’t silently consent
When the liars speak
Denying all the dying of the remedy

(Chorus)
Tell me, brother what matters more to you
Tell me, sister what matters more to you

If I can see what’s in your heart
By what comes out of your mouth
Then it sure looks to me like being straight
Is all it’s about
It looks like being hated
For all the wrong things
Like chasing the wind
While the pendulum swings

‘Cause we can talk and debate
Till we’re blue in the face
About the language and tradition
That He’s coming to save
And meanwhile we sit
Just like we don’t have give a shit about
Fifty thousand people who are dying today